Back To Blogging

I realized I miss blogging...generally it helps clear my mind and organize my thoughts.

Since my last blog, I have returned to the US, but realize that I can't wait to make my complete transition to LIB.

As of lately, I've been doing the whole grad school thing, and its pretty intense thus far. I'm hoping that this year goes by quickly and then BAM! I'm back in Liberia, lol. I'm hoping that I can inspire more of my generation to want to return and realize that Liberia needs us to make a difference, rather than depending on the way things have been run. We have the knowledge and drive to change the system and mindset of thousands, something that we all need to become aware of.

I dream big, the world is most definitely my oyster :)

-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Grooving

I've come across some great music here. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Yori Yori by Bracket
2. Danger by P Squared
3. Cool Tempers by J. Martins
4. Nwa Baby by Flavour


You all should def check these out, especially if you're into Reggae, Soca, and African music.

Check it out!

-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

W.O.R.D.S. of the Day

lonely is equivalent to a mental state,
which is easily factored into every being
yet its remainder refuses to be multiplied into a working sequence
once sequenced though, lonely can be the common denominator between happiness and permanent isolation
for there is no error in being lonely, only a subtracted negative state of mind
some think to add in unnecessary terms, only to find that lonely on its own is infinitely...
sufficient


-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

P.O.W.her.tea

Beauty over comes this kingdom come.
in the strangest places i've found her, more like a surprise than expectancy.
then, i expect her tendency, only to be thrown off.
again...unexpectedly.


so i search in Hope, yet Hope has failed time again for those who wait
she's an unpredictable sort, and predictably so, or so i thought.
for the people of this kingdom, this nation as one, have relied on she
and there has been some change,
yet Hope?... 
she chooses to evade me.


just as swiftly, swift Justice has replaced her
and these prisoners, not of war, but because of war,
do not realize his judgement lacks the justice he preaches
and so the shackled remain chained to the destruction he searches.

shifted, now i depend on Future, with whom i'm sure Beauty resides
for she left this place long ago with only dregs of tea as her demise;
coloring those who i told you only believe in Hope,
for Hope's sake
for they have forgotten to think forward, or create a dream.
so i dream,
to use my creativity to creatively forward this message of poverty, with color...
for their sake.

-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Liberia (LIB)

So I'm here in the motherland finally!

Personally I love my country. Of course many improvements can be made, but I really appreciate the naturalness here and I love how crazy Liberians are, lol.

I'm going to use this blog to sort of document the next 6 months here, as well as keep up with my creative line if thought. For my loves back in the states follow me here for new pics and updates!

-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Haiti in Our Prayers

Today is one of those days that you just thank God for all He's done for you, and pray for those that need His help.

I wanted to just put it out there, for anyone who reads this, that the world is much bigger than our little dot. We're each nothing more than a pinprick and in order to be more we must help those outside our normal sphere of thought. All I ask of the world right now is to think about those that are in trouble right this moment in Haiti.

Send up your prayers.

-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

W.O.R.D.S. of the Day

These aren't anything deep...just me being special at work, enjoy! :)


I'm the baddest that you'll ever meet, baddest that you've ever seen
Hair just touchin heaven, higher than an aero-plane
Brag and boast, just to coast on the Coast with my A-list team
Make about a mil, in all my favorite dreams


Never spun a record, barely got a beat
But I spit these lyrics better than those out in the street.
Just cough it up and let it out, can't stop this mental beat
Wake you up from your sleep, got my lyrics in your sheets.


Its just raw flavor, so protection won't save ya
Open up, drink it up, I got a brand new flow to savor
Now I'm done clownin', back to makin' paper
On that note, no mo' jokes, just take note. I'll see ya later.   

lol, that's me being bored at work. ugh, im only here to make that dollar.
enjoy my boredom.
deuces.

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Book Covers...Don't Judge 'Em

Many people get the wrong impression about me when they first meet and/or see me. Apparently, I don't smile.

Well, I'm sorry if I'm not going to be walking around with a random smile on my face if there's nothing even slightly amusing. I mean, wouldn't you think I had issues, or a little off, if I had a permanent smile plastered on my face? I would think that of someone else...maybe I'm the strange one. I've gotten from a lot of my close friends that when they first met me, they thought I was a capital B****. And I don't blame them, I guess anyone would look severe without a lopsided grin on their face.

As it turns out, I'm a pretty nice person, at least I like to think so. I guess I get the not smiling thing from my mom and older sister. we're an intimidating trio once put together; all standing over 5'8...glaring at people. Yet we're all captivating so maybe thats an additional intimidation factor...I sound real arrogant right now. But I'm merely stating facts, honestly, don't hold it against me.

And don't EVER tell me to smile, my dimples are shared with a reserved and deserving few :) .

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

W.O.R.D.S. of the Day

and so he grabbed her by the throat again,
sayin' "Don't act out again!"
the scars were worst, still worst, the pain again.
it hurts to know he could be so bold
and try to destroy something God evoked.
like going against the Word and preaching his own
maybe she'll be smart in the end
wake up and just leave this man
but we both know the truth
once the tears stop flowing and the bruises start clearing
she'll remember the loving,
while the healing takes time, her mental being is dying.


in our mind's eyes there's no surprise
to see her with him when the blacks and blues have waned
her skin more colored with hurt than his, with melanin.
now don't read this wrong, it's not his darkness that drives this
but the darkness within him, deeper to the core, merged deep, deep down within him.
something that moves in waves of frustration and almost consumes him.
his rage made redder with heat, if he had only read her these lines, then maybe she would leave...
knowing he was worse than he seemed,
a sheep with wolves' eyes could mean only one thing.


analogies describe him, yet he's an anomaly to me
to take out his hurt, his pain, on someone like she
who could only give and never receive, and she'll keep giving till her heart's with he.
now resting in his palm, he controls her every life's beat.
and her arteries call out to him just to feel a gentle pulse,
for he sustains her being, her life, he is the source.


i pray she wakes up one day and snatches her life away
pumping her her own life through her own veins someday,
making her own plans no longer living her life in vain.
i peeked through her window to see if she'll wake
but without making a noise i may have left dreams scattered for her sake


and she's still asleep, a slumber so deep...maybe if i touch her?
nah, i think all there is to do is weep.

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Today was a Good Day

I woke up this morning and I was happy. God trusted me with another day.

So I actually tried really, really, really hard to be at work early. I made it in at 8:32! I start work at 8:30. This however is a small accomplishment in and of itself because I usually get here just by 8:41am. In my mind I've won this battle, still struggling to take on the war though. But today is one of those days that I can really relate to what Ice Cube was talking about. A simple, but really good day. I feel it coming on.

I had a convo with my Dad the other day. Apparently, my younger half-sister is acting out, she's 17 so I guess it's expected? Wrong. We're African there is no such thing as teenage angst (I'm Liberian American, born and raised in the U.S. of A, but completely identified with my roots). I proceeded to ask my dad what he wanted me to do in this situation. He thinks that I have some sort of influence over her, which is completely false! Now you would have to understand the dynamic between my younger sister and I. We never grew up together, I saw her maybe once a year throughout my life, if even. But whenever I did see her I tried my best to be that older sister that I see in my older sister. I've come to realize over the years that I'm a better older sister for my best friend's siblings than I am for my own. This upsets me and I want to change, but isn't it too late?

Back to the situation at hand. Ultimately I feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to say to someone that barely respects their own mother. Scratch that. I do know what to say, but I don't know if it's going to sink in with her. My younger sister is beautiful and sweet when she wants to be, but I feel like she's going about her life the wrong way, making the wrong things important.

I guess I'll figure it out and call her tonight, then maybe she'll act right and start having some "good days" as well.

Today is and will be a good day, I hope for the same for you.

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Third Time Today

Hey,

So apparently people DO read my blog! lol. but yeah i think i might be addicted to this thing.

I think I've found my drug of choice
I've found a course to let my voice be heard over all this discourse.
A course different from the path of the life pulsing through my veins.
This high needs no needle, causes no pain.
This high can be sustained without the use of coke, can
Be recharged without even reaching a low, point
Me in the direction that sends my blood rushin' pure, clean
Thoughts awaken my drugged up soul.
And I'm happy 


:)

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Future Plans, more like Next Month's Plans

So, I mentioned previously that I made some major changes in my life. One of these changes involves my career path. I got my B.A. in Biology, howsomeever, I am now headed down the path of pursuing my MBA in Accounting. I know, WTH?!? right?

I figured at some point I could merge the two though. Like I'm really interested in furthering scientific discoveries, but I'm just as interested in the blood of the world, cash (Lil Wayne reference here, check out "We are Young Money"). So what better way of accomplishing said merge, than by working in the pharmaceutical industry, on the business end of things. I figure it is a lucrative industry and people are always going to have one ailment or another so why not?

Now I'm focused on the GMATs...or should I say the graduate version of the SATs all over again. It sucks, but I think I can do it. Surprising enough, a lot of non-business majors go into business after undergrad, so I am no longer deterred in that respect. My only concern is the heavy requests for business related job experience prior to admission at any B-school. Ugh! I JUST decided to do this. OF COURSE, I don't have any job experience in the business world.

Which leads me to the next major change...I'm moving to Liberia in February to work for pops...I'll show you admissions people "job experience", smh. The things they've forced me to do...

-Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

W.O.R.D.S. of the Day

ultimately the saddest thing he'd ever seen
worse than the blade of destruction meeting untarnished flesh.
but she was the strength that existed in the duality of this sword,
savoring or surrendering life in one word
something that day nor night could reveal
pain more real with an edge of appeal
pain vs. pleasure...which would prevail?

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

Lyrical Genius

Sometimes I like to think I'm a lyrical genius. A lot of people don't agree 'cause I'm a goof. But I really do like making rhymes. I think it's an art form that is under appreciated. I went through a phase this summer writing rhymes at work and g-chatting them to my friends. I think its time to resume that behavior. After all, what else is there to do at work?

Yes, there's a time for everything.
A time for tears, a time for laughter.
But right now its time for disaster.
We're outta time so run faster.
The world is ending, yet I know what I'm after.


Innocence, once here, now gone,
And there's no room to mourn.
So let it go, while I flow.
Let my lyrics rock you slow
In hopes that one day it may return.


Till then I'll surrender
There's no hope of something new
When so few have tried, there's no point in trying too
Those are thoughts the youth keep living, 
Those are thoughts that we keep giving.


But I'm after the young again
Wanting for more for them
Having the time but not knowing what to do for 'em
Maybe it'll come to me, like an epiphany.
Till then I'll keep dreaming like Audrey at Tiffany's 


That's what I'm feeling now. Well, I was inspired by Steve Harvey's Morning Show, which I listen to every morning on my way to work. He has this intense mentoring program and is pulling together all his resources to help young men from going down the wrong path and joining gangs and what not. Help him out with a dollar donation at: www.steveharvey.com

That's all I got today, till next time :)

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

NY's Resolutions...Really?

So whats with people overcrowding the gym EVERY January?

I know this blog is for my personal creativity, but I really can't stand it! You know you're not going to keep going  so why bother??? This all stems from me trying to get my work-out on last night after work. I entered the onsite gym at my apartment complex, only to realize that EVERY last machine was in use. Now this is coming from a gym that is empty on a regular basis to the point where its my personal space, well mine and that cute guy that may or may not live in my building, but that's besides the point.

The overall point here is that these people need to not lie to themselves. I'm giving them 2 weeks to deceive themselves, then I want my gym back! arrrghhhh!!!

The gym for me is like another form of writing, it lets me relax and just sweat out my frustrations, not to mention the amazing endorphines afterwards. It makes me a sweeter, easier going person and I love the high. I love not having to worry about sweat all over me, or that my hair is a bit of a mess, or that I actually have sweats on in a public place. I'm in my zone at the gym, rocking to whatever is on my ipod (right now my gym theme song is Nicki Minaj's version of "Go Hard").

Ultimately, it makes me feel good knowing that I'm doing something right for my body and that tomorrow that skirt will look ten times better, lol.

So I guess my advice today would be for you to hit the gym, not as a resolution, but just to feel a new type of high that, I'm sure you'll get addicted to. Just don't go to my gym.

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?

It's Been a Long Time...

It's been a while since I've written on here (in here? not 100 on blog lingo yet)...

A lot has happened. Major changes in my future, my present, and even from the past. I guess you could say that I'm a new woman, but not completely. There's still a major change I need to make, but until I do it'll be my little secret. I'll let you all know then.

I'm happy I have this blog, even though I'm aware that many people I know don't know (or would ever believe) that I have a blog. Or that many people don't even read this blog. I guess I've changed in that way as well, I really don't care. But like I've said previously I like the remedy and therapy behind words, and at this point in my life nothing could serve as a better mediator for my internal turmoil. If someone should happen upon it, so be it.

I know...super melodramatic, but I can do that 'cause this is MY blog, and you don't necessarily have to read it, but if you must continue on, I'll try to make it worth your while...

See. It always starts with a boy, right? Well this scenario is no different, why should it be?
I'm going to tell you a story. It could be real, it could be fiction...either way, you'll never know.


Once upon a time...there was this girl, who fell in love with...hip hop. lol Sike!


but for real, there was this girl and she actually fell in love with...Stories, fictional Stories.
she loved the way there were new worlds that unfolded around her, and how there always was a different reality just beyond her reach.
a new paradise that she could explore then hunt and devour, for her appetite for these Words were never satiated.
the pleasure she received could never be compared to anything real. the way the Words reached out to her Sentence after Sentence, caressing her.
one Paragraph after another, touching her.
Chapters...kissing her.
her intellectual being peaked every Letter, moving her to to stay focused, concentrated on the gentle thoughts that only a Novel could ever give her.


i can't tell you if she ever made it past each Introduction before the Climax.
or if her mind longed for the Antagonist while her heart drove her towards the Pro.
but this girl was indeed confused.


now there came a night when her worlds collided.
caught up in her haze, she knew that getting deeper past each Punctuation would only lead to trouble.
but clearly self pleasure was her only concern...


and she dreaded the day when her own story would be told.
the day when Words wouldn't be so appealing.
and their touch would lack a certain feeling.


and she dreaded the day when Books lost their gentleness.
the day when Hardbacks stroked her wrong.
and their kisses were, well...gone.


what i can tell you is that all the Novellas and Paperbacks, Mysteries and Romances.
all the Westerns and Science Fiction, Series and Memoirs,
never amounted to the one thing that stayed true day after day.
the one thing she chose to hide from but that knew her better than any Epilogue.
the one thing that was honest...


Reality.

El Fin

Well you can take that, and read it like we all used to back in the day when we appreciated reading because video games and TV had to be off during the week. Don't read it like we used to in English class, don't over analyze. Just let it mean to you what it means to you. I know why I wrote it, but like I said, It could be real, and it may even be fiction, but if you identify then you know how real it is to me.

- Word Doctor...What do you need fixed?